All The Things She Said
by Deadly Beauty1
Summary: Takes place in episode 25. What made Vash decide to visit his brother? Knives visits Vash' mind at night, allowing Vash in a world he never truly understood: his own mind, guided by a song representing the thoughts of these disturbed twins..


..God this took me a long time to write! For the ones who've read my fic Complicated: it's happends at the same time.. only at night :P But if you haven't read Complicated, don't worry because it's easily to understand anyway.. oh, and don't expect a fic like Complicated, because it isn't MerylxVash and it's way more serious and..psycho than Complicated. It takes place in episode 25, so that means spoilers. The fic explains why Vash went to Knives in episode 26. It's a songfic, using the song All the things she said by Tatu, if you don't know that song, please listen it because one: it's a really good song and two: the fic tries to have the same feeling as that song, so if you don't know it, you just..miss something, you know? Rated for slight yaoi thoughts, and simply the reason it's kind of..deep. Even though that sounds arrogant.. Well, have fun and please tell me what you think of it!  
  
All The Things She Said  
  
Vash walked into his hotel room, sighing. He fell down on the bed and stared to the ceiling. Today'd been a very bad day. He had a fight with Meryl again, but that was nothing new. The thing he was worried about, was that.. today, he cried again.. because of Legato's death. He thought he got over it by now, but.. and he was still thinking.. should he go to Knives? Would that solve everything? Or would it just make things worse? He just sighed again, and closed his eyes, quickly falling asleep.. if he'd known what was going to happen to him, I'm sure he'd rather stay awake..  
~All the things she said  
  
All the things she said  
  
Running through my head~  
  
He put his hands on his ears, still having his eyes closed, trying to block out the sounds in his head. A chaotic song rushed in his head, words followed each other as fast as they could, the voices were desperate, like they didn't know where to begin, and like they felt as lost as he was.  
  
~All the things she said All the things she said Running through my head~  
  
As always, with the word 'she' he thought of Rem. All the things she said.. and were still conquering his life. He screamed, but the voices sang louder so he soon couldn't hear his own voice anymore.  
  
~This is not enough..~  
  
Then, the voices stopped. He heard his own scream for a minute, then stopped, but he didn't have the courage to open his eyes yet. Then, he felt something wet slowly rubbing his cheek, like someone was licking him. He wanted to go away, but couldn't, he didn't have control of his own body anymore. He was scared, and one second he thought 'Legato?' but then remembered that wasn't possible anymore. Then, who was it?  
  
'Open your eyes..'  
  
He heard a soft, dark voice that seemed very familiar, but he couldn't' place it. 'Who.. who are you?' he whispered.  
  
'Don't be scared.. I won't hurt you, I promise.. come on.. open those beautiful green eyes of yours..'  
  
Rem? Vash thought. Was it Rem? All the things she said.. but the voice was that of a man.. somehow, he felt warm and safe, even though he was still trembling. He felt the someone that was now practically lying on him, move away, and slowly opened his eyes.  
  
And couldn't believe what he saw.  
Knives smiled, seeing His Brother so shocked. 'Yes, my Brother, it's Me. Why are you so surprised?' he moved closer, in an attempt to kiss Vash, but the other twin moved away.  
  
'Knives! What are you, what am I doing here? Where am I? And.. why are you trying to kiss me?'  
  
Knives laughed, feeling warm and happy, finnally hearing His Brother's voice again, finnaly seeing him act like his silly old self. It had been way too long. 'Because I miss you, Brother..' he whispered, and laid his hand on Vash' chest. He moved closer, laying his head nest to his hand listening to Vash' heart beating. 'It's still the same..' he whispered. 'What is? Knives, what is this?' Vash asked. 'Your heartbeat.' Knives said calm, not listening to his twin's panicking. 'Your heartbeat is still the same..' 'Well, yeah, how could it chance!' 'I.. I thought.. after being parted so long.. being with humans for so long.. Vash.. we belong together, don't you see?'  
  
~I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost~  
  
'It's how I felt these past years Vash..' Knives said slowly, not opening his eyes. 'hundred years.. it's long Vash, it's long. And I keep reminding how beautiful it could be.. you and Me..' He was pulled away by his stunned brother, who looked at him, seriously. 'Knives, what happened to you? This isn't how I know you!' Knives laughed. 'Then, do you know me? Do you know how lost I feel, Vash? Being around this humans, it kills Me! We're Gods, Vash! It shouldn't be this way!' He held his brothers shoulders, looking at him with tears in his eyes. 'Please Brother.. I never asked for help before..'  
  
~ If I'm asking for help, it's only because..~  
  
Vash moved away from his twin, and looked around. 'Where are we?' Knives just sighed. 'If you want to know: You're still at the same place as where you felt asleep. I'm in your head.' He looked at Vash, angry. 'See what you make Me do? You make Me beg you to come back, I never did that before! You make Me get into your head, you make me break Myself! Everyone who helped Me is dead, Vash I feel so alone.. even Legato is gone.. it's so cold.. come back to Me, Vash!' It was almost an order.  
  
~Being with you has opened my eyes~  
  
'No, Knives, I won't.' Vash said. Knives stood up, and walked to his brother. He was furious. After all this time.. didn't Vash understand he lost? Sure, he shouldn't be acting so dramatic, but it was the way Knives felt at the moment. He felt desperate, like he was dying. He missed his brother just so much.. it was quiet now in Demethri, everything he and Legato worked for was gone.. everyone was dead, and Vash hadn't return. He had to do it himself now. 'Then..' Knives whispered, trying to hide his anger '.. do it for Legato. He spend his entire life getting you with Me again, so we can make Our Eden! Please.. do it for his memory.' Vash just sighed and shook his head. 'Even now, when he's dead, you're still using that poor human to so your business. It's just another good reason for me to refuse, Knives.'  
  
~Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?~  
  
'Maybe..' Knives whispered. 'But.. you're so perfect! And.. if you won't go with me, I'll make you!' Vash shook his head. 'You can't make me Knives. Maybe you forgot, being around slaves so long, but I have free will.' 'Free will..' Knives whispered. 'No.. you don't have free will.. you never.. you never had.. you live by the things Rem told you.. that isn't free will! You're just her slave!' Vash looked at his brother, and for a moment, an awful thought crossed his mind. 'He's right. I'm Rem's slave..' he shook his head and screamed 'NO! I'm not her slave, I'm her memory! I make her live on because I do the things she would have done, because I made her dream true!' 'Oh yes, you are so perfect' Knives responded, his voice sarcastic. He crawled to his brother. 'Make me perfect.'  
  
~I keep asking myself, wondering how~  
  
'How, Vash, how? How come we've been separated for so long?' Vash began to panic, stood up and ran away, but he noticed he had nowhere to run. Everything was black, except for the silken sheets his brother lied on. He stared at Knives, whose eyes demanded a answer 'Because..' Vash whispered, breathing heavily 'Because we don't fit together! We.. we are like day and night, life and death. Those things can't be together. We can't be together.'  
  
~I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out~  
  
Vash felt he was being held in a strong, forcing hold 'Don't say that!' the voice of his brother screamed in the dark 'we belong together!' 'No..' Vash groaned, hurt by Knives who forced his twin to stay with him 'you see.. Knives..' he whispered 'This is exactly.. why we can't be,, together.. you hurt me.. you hurt everyone..' he choked, and spitted out some blood. Knives saw that, but he didn't think of releasing Vash. Vash closed his eyes in pain, but he saw exactly the same. 'You can't close your eyes from me, Vash' the threatening voice of Knives sounded. 'You try, you try it your entire life, but you can't. You can't block me out! I belong with you!' He lifted Vash up until they stared in each others eyes 'We belong together.'  
  
~Wanna fly to a place, where it's just you and me'  
  
'You and me..' Knives whispered in ecstasy of having his twin so close 'Wouldn't that be perfect? We belong together.. away from everyone else. You hold on to this world, but it is mortal Vash' 'We aren't immortal Knives' Vash whispered. His twin sighed and held Vash even closer 'I know. But everyone, everything will fade Vash. And we are the only ones that remain on this planet. We are Gods. In the end, it will be just you and Me. You can't resist Vash.'  
  
~Nobody else, so we can be free~  
  
'No..' Vash said wit a faint voice 'The humans will stay alive.. they will survive.. longer than we do, we are the ones that will fade Knives, whether you like it or not.' Immediately after he said that, he knew he'd made a mistake, because Knives threw him away, into the darkness. He felt himself falling, then his body hit something wet, water, and it took his body with it, the river was wild and dangerous, throwing Vash against rocks, almost making him drown, as he heard the constant chaos singing in his head, in the water, everywhere around him.  
  
~All the things she said, All the things she said Running through my head~  
  
Another wave of water in his lungs, another strike of pain, would it never end? Vash was panicking, and was pushed under water by the stream that seemed stronger than him.  
  
~All the things she said, All the tings she said Running through my head..~  
  
He felt his body lose the strength to fight against the water, and heard his brother laugh in the distance. As he closed his eyes, he heard that one sentence, one thing he always seemed to think when it came to saving, helping and caring  
  
~This is not enough~  
  
Knives watched his brother drown. Revenge. Finally. He looked at the relaxing face of his twin, feeling a strike of panic and sadness reaching him, as well as a thought he always seemed to think when it came to his plans, murdering, torturing and Vash..  
  
~This is not enough!~  
Vash opened his eyes, seeing white light around him. He was lying on a beach with pure white sand.. when he looked around, everything was white. The trees, the see.. a small crab that passed him by. Where was this? What was this? Eden? Or still.. his head? Was he still captured by his brother? He closed his eyes and sighed. Why..how did it ever come so far? What happened to Knives? Did he really love him so much? And.. did he love Knives? He did, as a brotherly love. But his heart belonged to someone else..  
  
~And I'm all mixed up, feeling concerned and rushed~  
  
It was how he always felt, after Rem's death. Concerned, the same thought ever day, every time he did something: 'would Rem approve? What would she do?' Rushed, because there always seemed to be a lack of time..not enough time..never enough time.. even though he had lived for so long, it seemed only a few days. A few days in which he messed up practically everything. How could Rem still love him?  
  
~They say it's my fault, but I want her so much~  
  
'I'm a criminal, a murderer, a sinner' he whispered. 'I'm.. I'm even worse than Knives, I killed people, indirectly, when I should be helping them. I..I should've helped Legato, see his need for care and love, but all I did was..kill him. I don't deserve Rem. But.. but I dream of her, every night..day..my soul, my body, everything is longing for her, for her voice to tell me what to do, for her motherly arms hugging me..I want, I need her so much..'  
  
~Wanna fly her away, where the sun and the rain Come over my face, wash away all the shame~  
  
'Are you in love with her?' a voice asked. Vash didn't care whose voice it was, he just answered, thinking 'No..no, it goes beyond that kind of love..she's..she's my goddess, I will do anything for her, it may be wrong, it may be weird, others may hate me for it but I don't care..I want to live by her ideas, I want her memory to live, and one day, we'll be in a perfect world, together, no shame, no tears..only happiness. For us.'  
  
The voice laughed.  
  
'What's so funny?' Vash asked 'You're sounding like Legato..he would've said that..' Vash opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again in realisation. It was true.  
  
~When they stop and stare, don't worry me~  
  
'No..' Vash whispered 'I'm not a psychopath.. I'm not..' 'Why not?' the voice asked. 'You live by the standards of another, even though you can't reach her, even though it's not normal.. you're not from this world. How is that not psychotic? Do you believe you're only a psycho when your hands touch innocent blood? You have. Every single drop of blood is your fault, would it have been there if you lived like a normal plant? Would it?' Vash closed his eyes as the voice continued 'And it will continue. Just as long as you stay away, there will be blood. Innocent blood? The whole race is guilty, killing is justified. That may not be what you believe, but it is the truth. Now, do you ignore the truth, the real world, like a psychopath or do you want to.live?' Vash opened his eyes, and Knives was close. He was full of light, with angel wings, holding out his hand 'Come Vash..don't worry about the people anymore.. what have they done for you? Have they ever helped you, made you happy like I can? Come, my brother..' Slowly, Vash' hand reached for his brother  
  
~'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me~  
  
That line kept repeating itself in Vash' head. 'I love Rem..' he thought 'And she..she loves me..' he looked at his brother's hand 'she's feeling the same for me..' Vash whispered, and Knives smiled 'Yes,Vash, I love you..' Vash didn't even hear him 'she loves me.. she..' his hand was almost touching his brother's, who was smiling. Just..one more second..  
  
And Vash slapped Knives, standing up and screaming 'I will never be the same as you, Knives! I may be a psycho, but I live for her, I live this way because I love her! And she loves me..'  
  
~I can try to pretend, I can try to forget~  
  
At that, Knives attacked his brother. He hit him, while screaming 'If you won't come with me, you won't go anywhere! You belong to me!' Vash just fought back, wishing he had his gun 'I belong to no one Knives. I belong to myself and I chose to live by Rem's ideas' He felt blood on his face, his brother hit him again. He grabbed piece of wood and walked to Knives 'don't make me hurt you' he thought.  
  
They hit each other with everything they could find, but mostly with words. Suddenly, the last line was so loud, they weren't able to hear anything but the singing.  
  
~Going out of my head~  
  
Everything went white, they saw they were parting, tries to resist, but the white took them, like a river. The last thing Vash saw, was his brother mouthing 'I'll see you soon Vash' and he mouthed back 'See you then, Knives'  
  
Knives landed on something hard, and looked around. Where was he? Couldn't he get out? Everything was white, and he felt desperate. It didn't work. Vash hated him. Suddenly, he heard more singing, the voice representing his emotions: desperate, alone, scared.  
  
~Mother looking at me Tell me what do you see Yes I've lost my mind..~  
  
'I've lost my mind..' he murmured, as the darkness devoured him and he fell asleep, waking up from the nightmare that was his brothers mind..  
  
Vash stared in the distance, everything was white. Wasn't Knives' game over yet? 'I swear Knives..' he began, but he was interrupted by singing, lines representing thought that were always on his mind: desperate, alone, scared.  
  
~Daddy looking at me Will I ever be free? Have I crossed the line?~  
  
He felt sleepy, and before he fell into a deep sleep, he whispered 'Knives.. I swear, if I ever get out of here.. I'll visit you. And we'll get this solved.. and we'll see each other. And we'll touch each other. As brothers, as enemies, as friends, as lovers.. as anything. I will be there. And you.. you'll be waiting for me. Wait for me, brother.'  
  
~All the things she said.. All the things she said.. All the things...~  
  
^_^'' Okay, I agree, that was weird. I'm not saying Knives is in love with Vash, or Vash is in love with Rem, or maybe I am. Decide for yourself, what you think about those three. I hope you like this fic, thanks for reading and please take a minute to review! ^_^ 


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